Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
