Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
