loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
You took a bar mat shot.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
