woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
