We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
