fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
