I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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