this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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