Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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