Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
