well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
