Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
