she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Randomize