So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
