I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
