found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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