she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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