I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
