Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
