smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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