Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
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