we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I don't deserve a penis
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
