we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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