Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
you never un-have a 4some
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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