grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
