Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Randomize
