youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he puts the penis in happiness.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize