and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize