he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
