He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize