Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Randomize