you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Randomize