Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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