One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
