we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
