Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
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