we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
