You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I bet he comes in French.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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