i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
