in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize