I am in a vortex of obligation.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
