when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
