all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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