I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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