Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
