its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
