bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
