how can u be prego again
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
