I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize