I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Pants are for mortals
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
