You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
one two three fourrrrnication!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
So much rum. So many feels.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Randomize
