Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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