my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
