Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize