We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
