I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
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Do I have a choice?
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I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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