She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
