Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
Randomize
