Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
