So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
