Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
