she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
