i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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