dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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