I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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