Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
