He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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