I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Randomize
