dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
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