Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
